Guess who graduated today?

DIS BITCH.

Kim Kardashian:I'd like to marry this dude and spend $10 million dollars on a publicity wedding please oh and then 72 days later I'd like a divorce
America:Well sure why not?
Britney Spears:I want to get hitched in a chapel in Vegas and have the marriage annulled fifty-five hours later because I didn't know what the hell I was doing
America:Whatever you want!
Carmen Electra:I want to get married in Vegas to this basketball player and then annul the marriage nine days later cuz we were both drunk lololololololololol
America:Okay, sounds like fun!
Gay couple:We would like to get married and spend our lives together and possibly adopt unwanted children to give them a good home and -
America:WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU IDIOTS THAT IS DISGUSTING AND WRONG YOU DEFILE THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE SO GTFO

When I get an email from my ex:

whatshouldwecallme:

How he thinks I’ll be: 

How I am:

After hooking up with my friend’s brother

ilovemyselfandihatemyself:

I’m like:

THIS.

When someone asked if I hooked up with the houseboy

ilovemyselfandihatemyself: